I have a friend who has lived with her intended for 7 years. This will be his 4th marriage and her 1st. They own a home, 2 cars and everything that goes with 7 years of common law. She is having a small formal wedding, however she has registered at Penney’s and WALMART. She is asking for things like camcorder, printers, outdoor fireplace, $400 cookware, things that she could never afford to purchase for herself and things she is not used to even having. Is it proper to even have a registry for this type of wedding? It just really irks me. It just seems that this is just to better herself. She sent out her 1st email to let everyone know 8 months early that she was getting married and now is following it up each and every week with a reminder to let you know that it is coming up still, I mean every week. Please let me know if one should really buy gifts or even these type of gifts for someone who has been living together for 7 years and the groom this being his 4th marriage. Thanks

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Dear Texankaty,

Yes, a registry is fine because it is still a wedding; gifts are typically given. Those who gave for any of his other weddings, are not expected to give again, though.

She can register for these expensive items. But, it does appear to most as excessive and greedy. No one is obligated to purchase items from her registry. So, skip it if you wish. Only give what you would like to give.

Since they have been together for so long, lifestyle gifts would probably be best. Perhaps an etiquette book would be a great idea.

Best wishes,