When is it proper to upgrade an engagement ring? And is upgrading buying an entire new ring, or what? I know this will sound awful, but I have been wearing my engagement ring for three years (married for almost two), and… ummm… I don’t really like it all that much. It’s just a channel set band, more an anniversary ring than anything else… It’s also so hard to keep clean.

Anyway, I told my husband I like it when he proposed (he’s a little sensitive when it comes to things he’s bought for me, especially because money was a big reason it wasn’t a real engagement ring), plus, I was so excited about him proposing that I barely paid any attention to the ring. I figured that one day, we’ll upgrade, and we can both shop for it. And now that we are financially set, and it’s been a couple years…

I also really don’t know how to ask for it. I love my husband, and I don’t want to hurt his feelings at all, but I would really like something that I can be proud to show off.

This letter makes me sound so horribly shallow, but I’m really not. I just want a ring that is more me, and less… well, cheap. Thank you.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Dear Upgrading,

Now if you were talking about upgrading your husband…just kidding. It seems as if most of we women want a nice ring. So, this doesn’t seem shallow at all.

You can upgrade any time. Many times a couple is on a shoe-string budget in the beginning and a few years later will purchase the perfect ring–just like you.

So, as for the best way to approach your hubby… you are on your own there. Perhaps let him know that the ring means a lot and will always be important just as he is to you. But, that for your anniversary you would like to choose a ring together that reflects both of you at this point in your loving marriage.

Good luck!

Anthony, Master jeweler, designer of wedding bands and engagement rings.

It is very common to upgrade your engagement. If you have a special occasion coming up in the very near future, that would be an ideal time to give your husband the heads up on what you would like gift wise. That will also be an opportunity for him to get you something you really want. Good luck