When you give money as a gift do you give a cash or a check? 

Hi everyone,

I am going to a friend’s wedding in a few weeks. I can only afford maybe 40 or 50 dollars along with a card as a gift. My question is, is it more appropriate to give the money in form of cash or check? Any help would be appreciated. Thanks!

-R

Donna, Wedding Queen

As far as etiquette goes it is best to select and send a gift to the home of the bride before the wedding. This might be something you’ll want to consider but if you want to give money than a check is the safe way to go since cash can be lost or stolen. Plus, you can be sure the couple received the gift if you give a check.

Have fun at the wedding.

I already wasn’t able to make it to her shower, which I felt awful about. She is having a bachelorette party at the end of this week, which requires no gifts, but I am giving her two since I did not make it to the shower. So as far as sending yet another gift to her house for the actual marriage, I’m not too sure about that. From what I’ve heard, it’s quite common to give money on the wedding day.

Either way, thank you for responding! I will give the couple a check on the day of the wedding.

-R

Donna, Wedding Queen

In some areas of the country it is considered acceptable to give money as a wedding gift however it is always preferable, when purchasing a wedding gift, to send it to the home of the bride before the wedding. This ensures the gifts are received and the couple doesn’t need to worry about transporting gifts, keeping cards with gifts, losing or having gifts stolen on the day of the wedding.

Reader Response

That’s interesting about it being different in different areas of the country. I happen to be in NY. *shrug*

I actually just spoke to her and plainly asked if people are supposed to mail gifts, or bring them the day of, and she said bring. Besides they are very laid back. She said she doesn’t even care what I wear. “You can wear a potato sack for all I care, I just want you there!” Hehe.

Still of course thanks for answering my question about the cash or check issue!

-R

Donna, Wedding Queen

Please understand that we’re not just answering your specific situation but this answer stays on the forum where many, many other people will read it, so, we answer each question according to what is widely accepted as proper etiquette.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

This is so true. We try to answer as broadly as possible so others may benefit also.

It is interesting about different regions following different gift giving paths. Here in Northern California most of us do not give money. It just seems cold. But, in other places, it is quite common.

The Wedding Queen is correct though. The most proper is to ship the gift.