What Happens With Mother Son Dance When Mother of Groom Is Deceased?

I am in the early planning of my wedding and have had a lingering question…

My fiance’s mother died of cancer when he was about 11 and it has always been a very touchy subject with him. I have always wanted a very traditional wedding, and so has he, so what do we do about who escorts him down the aisle before the ceremony begins and who, if anyone, does he do his mother son dance with?

Donna, Wedding Queen

My mother died when I was a young teen, so I understand your groom’s issue. There’s bound to be some awkward moments. That’s fine during the ceremony becuse many a tear is she then, but leave all mention of mom to the ceremony.

During a typical Christian wedding ceremony the groom is not escorted by his mom, so no problem there. He is typically waiting at the front of the church with his groomsmen.

For the wedding dance you can either just leave out that dance or ask him if there is another “mother figure” in his life, someone who continued to raise him after his mother died. Just go ahead and dance with your father, if you like.

Dana Y.Briggs, Premier Wedding Consultant, Elegantly Yours Events

I agree with the experts.

Even though the groom will already be standing at the altar with his groomsmen, I would suggest some type of dedication within the ceremony to his mom. Lighting a candle in her honor, or having a flower or corsage in the seat where she would have been seated are a few suggestions.

As far as the mother/son dance, if he has had a mother figure in his life since his mothers passing, he may want to include her in this, or you can opt to exclude that altogether. The guests will completely understand. I would, however, still have the father/daughter dance.

Happy planning!

Joyce C Smith, MBC, President and owner of Weddings Unlimited, Inc. and Ohio State Coordinator for Association of Bridal Consultants

With a traditional ceremony, typically the groom comes in with the priest or minister and the rest of the groomsmen follow. So, he should be OK without his mom. At the reception, even though you want the traditional events, I would not do a son/mother dance.But,if he has an aunt or grandmother that he has depended on, he might want to substitute one of them for his mom.

Michele Schwartz, The Modern Jewish Wedding- Certified Life Cycle Event Planner and Professional bridal Consultant

I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this issue. In a Jewish wedding while it is tradional for both parents to escort both bride & groom down the aisle it isn’t a hard & fast rule! I have seen many variations. I have seen the groom walk alone, not process down the aisle & come out the front, or have the one living parent escort him. My husband’s father was deceased & his mother was in a wheelchair when we were married so his two sisters escorted him down the aisle. As for the dance your husband could dance with a cherished aunt, sister, or relative of his morher’s who is still living. There is also nothing wrong with just having the father/daughter dance & not doing the traditional mother/son dance.