Weddings are all about love, including the love of those who those who are no longer with us. Whether it be a mother, father, aunt uncle, sibling, cousin, or anyone else important to the bride and groom and their respective families, finding a way to incorporate these loved ones’ memories into the wedding is a wonderful and heartfelt way to remember them.
There are many lovely ways to do this, including the speeches portion of the wedding program. Wedding speeches and toasts provide the perfect opportunity to mention a loved one who has passed on and how proud the person would be of the bride or groom (or both). They give everyone at this special event the chance to think about the person and remember why the loved one was so special.
Do I Mention The Groom’s Deceased Father In My Wedding Speech?
I have been asked to give a speech at my son’s wedding. My husband has passed on, and I am wondering if I should mention him in my speech and if so, how to go about it. I am not much for speeches and need all the help I can get, thanks!
Absolutely! Mentioning your husband in your speech is a great way to incorporate his memory into the big day, especially if your son was very close with his dad. You do not have to make the whole speech about your husband, as this is a wedding and a time to celebrate and be merry.
Simply mention your beloved at some point during the speech in a way that makes everyone smile and remember what made him who he was. Use any of the following ideas to get you started:
- “We are sad [groom’s father’s name] could not be here today but know he is somewhere smiling, laughing, and toasting [groom’s name] good fortune at finding such a fantastic partner.”
- “[Groom’s father’s name] said to me when [groom’s name] met [bride’s name] that he had found himself a real keeper. I know he is looking down on us right now smiling his biggest smile because he is so happy and pleased with this union.”
- “[Groom’s father’s name] was the most wonderful man I ever knew, and I see him in my son every day. I know he is absolutely thrilled that our boy found himself the perfect girl to spend the rest of his life with. Here’s to the bride, groom, [groom’s father’s name], and other members of our beloved family who are no longer with us.”
- “[Groom’s father’s name] wanted the best for our son, and I know he is somewhere doing his happy dance because [groom’s name] found his partner for life who loves and cherishes him as much as we do.”
When writing a wedding speech – or any speech, for that matter – the point is to be genuine. Think about your special memories as a family, write them down, and use them as inspiration if you still need help. You can also browse old photo albums or talk to your son about anything he would like you to mention. Make your speech from the heart… and you will do just fine!
Other Experts’ Answers
If the person who is conducting the ceremony is someone who knew the deceased relative, it might be appropriate for him/her to say something during the ceremony – particularly if they are saying a homily or other sermon-like speech. They might say:
“Today, we have come together to celebrate the love of these two people and the life they are building together. As many of you know, the groom’s father recently passed away. And in times like these, it can be more important than ever to honor love and family. I know (groom’s father) was so happy to see (groom) find the love he has with (bride). Although it would be easy for his recent death to make this a sad occasion, (Groom’s father) would want to see you all so happy today, celebrating and full of joy. So today, let’s remember how precious life is, and be thankful that (bride and groom) are creating a new family together.” – Nina Callaway, The Spruce
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“Unfortunately, it’s not possible to have everyone we love to be here with us today. I’m thinking particularly of (Deceased Relatives), amongst others. We know they’re here with us in spirit, & they’re not only in our thoughts today, more importantly they’re with us in our hearts always. So, with them in mind, would you please all stand, raise your glasses, & join me in a toast to absent family.
Ladies & Gentlemen, ‘Absent Family’” – Lee Pilkington, Hitched.com
“If he is happy for you to mention his father then keep it brief, don’t dwell on the topic say something along the lines of “Though “Dave’s” father “John” may not be in the room with us today, he is certainly here in spirit and would be very proud of the person that Dave has turned out to be” then move on to a happier topic.” – Presentation Magazine