We are dealing with divorce so things are complicated. We have been told it is our wedding and we make the decisions, but if we do, we will be taking a side. We would like to know what is traditionally done in a modern wedding and let that dictate our decision.

My Fiance’s parents have been divorced for 10 years and his Dad re-married 5 years ago. His Mother is still dating the man she left his Father for. We have a strong relationship with his Father and his new wife who are helping us pay with the wedding, reception and honeymoon. I am very close to the Step-Mother and have a poor relationship with the Groom’s Mother. My Fiance’s relationship with his Mother is also strained, he sees her for an hour or so on major holidays. She is not paying for anything and is openly hostile toward his Step Mother.

The Groom’s Mother wants to walk in the wedding processional with her boyfriend. Although he is a very nice man, he and the Groom’s Mother are not married and that will leave my Mother to walk alone. Isn’t being part of the wedding processional traditionally reserved for family, Maid of Honor, Bridesmaids, Groomsmen, Best Man, Mothers, Flower Girl, Ring Bearer, Bride and Bride’s Father?

Thank you for your help, as you can see, we desperately need it.

Nancy Tucker

This really does not have to be an issue. The mothers should have the first pew in any ceremony. The groom’s mother can be escorted by her boyfriend and seated on the first row. The groom’s step mother would be escorted by her husband and seated in the pew behind or if the groom’s mother has a lot of family and close friends he could sit on the third row. The bride’s mother can be escorted by a groomsman, a special relative or even the groom. Once the mothers are seated the music changes for the processional beginning with the groom, minister and best man. Relax and if necessary, remind all parents that it is your day and you would hope they can put their personal feelings aside for your day. Best wishes.

Jacqueline Vazquez, Lifetime Events by Jacqueline Certified Wedding & Event Planner

I agree, traditionally the mothers sit in eiher the first or second pew whether they contribute or not. The boyfriend should be able to walk the mother of the groom in the processional.

Elaine Hines, Eternal scholar of etiquette.

The processional only involves members of the bridal party. It begins after everyone else, including mothers and stepmothers, has been seated. If your fiance’s mother wants to walk in a processional she needs to have her own wedding. 🙂

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc

The processional begins with the seating of the mother of the bride. The mother of the groom is seated before her, usually by her husband or significant other.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

I agree, except that it is usually best for the divorced father to sit in the third row, not the second. However, if no one minds, the second row is fine.