Hello,

I am having an extremely horriable time planning my wedding. My future cousin -In-Law and I are planning our own weddign which are only about 5 weeks apart. She is 30 years old and I am 20 years old. When I was engaged, she only had a boyfriend for about 6 months. My fiance and I set a date of August 14, 2004 and started our planning. Finally the time came and she was engaged as well. She picked her date and started planning. Because we live in the same town, our venues were the same. To shorten this all up, we got the same reception site and bride’smaid color.

What is the way to do this?

Reception- She had mention to me about six months before I was even engaged that she wanted to have her reception at a certain place when she would ever get married. So when I got engaged before her, of course, I went hunting for a reception site and come to find out after all the places I went to I really like the same place. Realizing that she wasn’t even engaged yet and they had only known each other for 6 months, I thought it wouldn’t be a problem. She stresses now that the place should have been off limits and I should have gone with my next best choose. I really need guidance as I didn’t feel I did anything wrong. Is there etiquette on this?

Dresses- When I went to go find my bridesmaid dresses, we both made it a point to not know what each other was doing, So you can only imagine our faces when we found out that we had almost the same color. She had gotten her dresses first if you look at the paperwork but the blame is on me as they felt I should have asked what her color was and then took that off my choices.

Summary: This has turned into a horrible thing. I have been nothing but kind but they don’t talk to me. What should of I done? Is there a right way to work with this problem? Now, relationships have been broken and I really would like to get this solved. Any thoughts?

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc

Call me crazy but I don’t really see the issue here. So, your bridesmaids dresses are the same color and you are using the same reception hall…not a huge deal in my opinion. I assume the dresses are a different style so I really think that’s a non-issue, small potatoes. With regard to the reception venue, could you use a different room within the same venue and order completely different menus? Frankly, as a guest at a wedding I NEVER care where it is or what everyone is wearing, just that I was inncluded and that we all have a great time being together. I will say that good food and drink is a must though! [;)] have a sense of humor about it all and enjoy the wedding planning process!

If these are the two reasons the two of you are angry with each other PLEASE, run, do not walk to the telephone and call your future inlaw and remind her what’s really important about these weddings. HINT: It’s not the dresses, food, entertainment or the reception hall! Tell her you will do everything in your power to make the two weddings as differnet and seperate as possible and that maybe if, from now on, the two of you work together you can accomplish that and repair your relationship in the process. If she still insists on being uptight about the THINGS then try, as much as you can, to do all you can to make the weddings different, without really sacrificing too much of what you want. This is a happy time in your lives. Don’t ruin it with THINGS and STUFF, remember FEELINGS!

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

I couldn’t agree more! Emotions tend to run high during the wedding planning process and people can become a bit unglued. Hopefully, you will be able to discuss this problem honestly and calmly and remember that this event is suppose to be about love and families coming together.

Sincerely,