Is it considered bad etiquette to ask guests for a donation to charity in place of a wedding gift? What I was hoping to do was put a reference on my invitation to a website for a charity which means a lot to me.

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc®, a wedding planning guide, and Recent Mother of the Groom –

While commendable, it isn’t polite to directly tell a guest what gift you prefer, especially on an invitation where we don’t mention gifts at all. Doing so insinuates that you are expecting a gift, which is impolite, even though we know that guests are expected to send a gift when they are invited and attend a wedding. In addition, we don’t ask for specific kinds of gifts, even when the intention is admirable, as in your case of the charity.

So, what to do? If you have a wedding website you could list information about your charity and ask that donations to the charity are preferred. If you don’t have your own site, perhaps consider getting one of your own. Some of designers have an option for free weding websites.

Here is an article on asking for donations to charity in lieu of a wedding favor, which you may find interesting as well.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Agreed. Plus, the tried and true way that has been used for years is word of mouth. Just let everyone know how you feel.

And bravo for your focus!