The bride’s family is giving her a family bridal shower. She gave me a list of friends. The bride said she would also want these friends to be part of her bachlorette party. One friend is from out of town. I am wondering if I need to have a bridal shower and a bachlorette party. If I do both, I was going to do it all in one day so the out of state friend can be there. It is ok to combine the bridal shower and bachlorette party all in the same night?

Thanks!

Matron of Honor

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Dear Awgoodman,

First off, she shouldn’t assume that you will host these. You have the choice of hosting and how many you will host. If you choose to host, please follow all the etiquette we have posted.

While it is popular in some areas to host both of these parties back to back, it isn’t polite. One party is traditionally a gift giving event, although the gift-less shower is becoming more popular. With the shower, the host provides everything for guests. However, the bachelorette/bachelor party is the one party for which the guests contribute. It isn’t a gift giving event though. So, you have two completely different types of parties with two different sets of expectations.

If all were invited to both, then it could work.

Don’t feel guilty stating that you don’t want to host either. It is your money and time.

Side note: her family shouldn’t be hosting a shower unless also attendants.

Best wishes,