[blush] My husband & I would like to renew our vows for our 20th wedding anniversary. It is also my 40th birthday that year. Would it be ok to combine the two celebrations & have a joint party? I’m thinking of making it a black tie /evening gown party so everyone gets to dress up.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Dear Tec,

It is best to keep these two parties separate. The vow renewal is very different than an adult birthday party. Plus, please remember that neither of these are considered an obligational gift giving situation. Some may give gifts, but it isn’t necessary or expected.

Please read our many posts concerning vow renewal etiquette and this article on vow renewal ceremonies.

Best wishes,