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Does Mother of the Bride Have to Attend All Showers?

My daughter is having 3 showers. One for the Groom’s mother’s family, one for the Bride’s family and the Groom’s father’s family (they’re divorced), and one for friends. Does the Mother of the Bride have to go to all of these? My youngest daughter just graduated college and has gotten a job in another state and I wanted to go visit her and help her settle in. She is all alone in a new state and know she would love a visit from “home”. The other part of the equation is that my husband is going out of town for training and the best time for me to go would be while he’s away. We’re newly married outselves and don’t want to be separated any longer than necessary. However, the “friend” shower is during this time period. My daughter and other two children ganged up on me telling me they couldn’t believe I would even think of going anywhere during the two months before the wedding. I’ve never been very traditional so I may not be up-to-date on etiquette but I want to do the right thing and I certainly don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Dear Zgirlfriend,

Normally the mothers would attend all showers. However, there shouldn’t be more than two small showers. Plus, often we do break the rules for the ‘friend’ shower. At times that would involve only friends and no family. This isn’t the case here. But, if we fall back on the rule of only two showers, then you have an out in etiquetteland. You will be attending two.

Plus, this is a teachable moment. You will be teaching your ‘bride’ daughter and her siblings that in life there are some disappointments and that it isn’t all about them–or the bride.

Best wishes,

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites,

I agree with Rebecca. As moms we need to always be dividing ourselves between our children, don’t we? This is a good opportunity to model great parenting, and relationship, skills for your daughters. Attend the family showers and explain your need to be with your other daughter during the friend’s shower.