My fiance and I are working on our wedding programs and are having trouble figuring out what to do about grandparents. We are only doing simple one page programs that list the wedding party. We are not listing the order of the ceremony or anything else. We have just listed the basics like bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girl, ring bearer, officiant, and parents. We can’t decide whether or not to list the grandparents. I don’t think we need to since they are not actually a part of the ceremony, but I know my fiance would like to list them if possible out of respect. It is complicated because not all grandparents are living and not all living grandparents will be attending. All of my fiances living grandparents will be there (both on mom’s side, and grandfather on dad’s side. I only have two living grandparents(mom’s mom and dad’s dad). Only my mom’s mom will be there. It is also complicated by the fact that my dad’s dad (who will not be there) is very recently remarried. I have never met his new wife. Because space is very tight on our wedding program, we have to be careful about how we use it. We do not have room for an “In Memory Of” section. So how should we handle this? Do we list all the grandparents that are still living or just those that will be in attendance? Does my new step-grandma that I have never met get listed? Or is it ok to not list any grandparents at all? That would obviously be easiest considering the complications and the space we have available, but I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Dear Bomfogbass,

If we approach this logically, the answer is very easy. These are programs that are supposed to help the guests understand what is happening and who is who–those who are in the bridal party and those who are being seated as special. These are things guests would want to know. So, you only need list those who have an active part in your wedding and those who are being seated as special.

Best wishes,