I will be hosting a bridal shower at a restaurant. It has been decided that the shower will be a greenback shower. How should that be noted in regards to the invitations–can it be posted on the invitation or should a separate piece of paper be included in the envelop?

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites,

If, by greenback, you mean the guests are required to pay, then I cannot possibly tell you how to send that sort of invitation. When you invite guests to a party, it would be rude to ask them to pay or help provide the party and most people are put off by receiving such an invitation. The bridal shower is a totally option event that should only be hosted if the host can afford to pay and to shower the bride with gifts.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Please note that there is no such thing as a “greenback” bridal shower. Some believe that there is such a thing as a bridal shower in which guests are expected to give cash gifts. This is not only viewed as greedy, it is unfair to guests who are also expected to give wedding gifts for the wedding.

A simple way to reason why this is not appropriate is to ask yourself: Should guests be asked to give money as a bridal shower gift to a couple just because they decided to get married? Why should the couple receive multiple gifts from wedding guests anyway? This has become more and more of an issue the last few years. So, asking for and expecting cash…?

If this is a gift giving bridal shower, gifts should be those that can be unwrapped and should be much less expensive than the typical wedding gift. Also, no guest should be expected to open their wallets at the restaurant. Hosts pay.

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites,

Ah, I thought a greenback shower asked the guests to pay their way. Thanks for enlightening me, though I’m not sure I want this kind of enlightenment. I did a search for greenback shower and came up with some communities discussing it and the feedback was very negative.