Invitation etiquette question. My husband, uncle of the one getting married has two children, one is his, the other is a step-son. Both children are adults. The niece invited, her cousin (his daughter) his ex-wife and his step-son;s ex-wife. The only one related biologically is his daughter. But, his daughter’s brother (his step-son) is her half-brother biologically. His daughter was invited to the wedding, but not her half-brother. Now, in reality, his daughter hasn’t seen his niece in years, and the half-brother hasn’t seen his niece in longer. But, they all grew up together until the step-son was eighteen. Now, what makes us upset, is my husband (uncle to the bride) will have his daughter there, his ex-wife there, his step-son’s ex-wife there, but no step-son. He and I are upset because why was his ex-wife there and his step-son’s ex-wife there, but not his step-son, who he is still close to. Plus, his ex-wife isn’t close to his brother or niece, and his step-son’s ex-wife has never even meet the bride. They said they didn’t invite the step-son because they invited his ex-wife, and my husband’s ex-wife and didn’t want to cause waves. Well….I still am invited and I can’t stand my husband’s ex-wife or his step-son’s ex-wife, and I could cause problems as well. Just curious, what is the answer to this scenario?

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites

Very, very confusing and, frankly, I got lost somewhere. But, the most simple answer is that the wedding couple should invite only those closest to them. I would stay out of the invitation list and attend if you feel like it, don’t attend if you’re offended or don’t feel close enough with the couple.

terrix2000

Yeah, that is kind of what we came up with. We will probably go to the ceremony, but then cut out. I sure has H*** don’t want to spend the evening with my husband’s ex, just as much as he doesn’t want to spend the evening with with his ex there. He was just very upset that they didn’t invite his step-son, but would invite his ex-wife and his step-son’s ex-wife. My husband is still very close to his step-son and feels bad that he didn’t even get an invite and a choice to not go if he felt there might be conflicts.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

I’m right there with you, Wedding Queen.

I have no idea what you are saying, terrix2000. It just looks like a lot of words. I’m sorry, but I just can’t understand most of your post. I did understand the bit about you, perhaps, causing a problem. If you think that you could cause a problem at someone’s wedding, you shouldn’t attend. It doesn’t matter who you like or who you don’t. It is never appropriate for you to cause a problem at another’s event.

Plus, they can invite anyone they wish to invite and no one should ask why. It is their wedding.

terrix2000

I never said I was going to cause a problem. I wrote a lot cause it is confusing. Basically, they invited my husband’s (the uncle) biological daughter (the cousin), but not her half-brother (the cousin and my husband’s step-son) because they chose to invite the step-son’s ex-wife, and they have never even meet her. They said they didn’t invite the stepson because it would be awkward to have his ex-wife and his new wife there. How stupid is that, because they invited my husband’s ex-wife there and me, now that is awkward. The bride hasn’t seen his ex-wife in over five years and they don’t even talk to each other’s family. And, what’s up with inviting someone she has never even meet, but not inviting her own cousin. Now, the stepson’s half sister is also pissed because they invited her and her boyfriend but not her brother. She isn’t going because she is so mad and said she hasn’t spoken to any of her cousin’s or uncles in over five years and we all live in the same area.

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites

I stand by my original advice – see above.

terrix2000

I understad it is their wedding and they can invite who they chose. I also understand that feelings get hurt by excluding people. My husband has chosen to only go to the service and not the reception, I’m chosing not to go at all, and his daughter is chosing to not go at all. I don’t like his niece at all any ways, she is a selfish, stuck-up brat and now she gave me and his daughter reason to not go and my husband will only attend the service. If I went I would put on a fake smile through the whole thing, not cause waves but be miserable. My husband was looking for a way out himself and he was only going because of his brother, the father of the bride. It’s her day, she got what she wanted. She never liked the stepson and she made her point known.

As a wedding guest I should not have to put up with a snobby bride either. A bride and groom who play favors don’t deserve to have a thing from me. It maybe their day, but if they except me to celebrate with them then they should also think of their guests who go out of their way to bring gifts, show up and be a part of their wedding.