In a July 25, 2005 thread, Rebecca stated that the Grandmothers chose the style and color of dress they wished to wear to the wedding. However, does that hold true even if the GMOG owns a nude color dress and my bridal gown is called oyster which is synonymous with nude, champagne, beige, bone, cream, etc.? I thought it was tradition that the bride was the only one to wear the color of her gown on her wedding day, regardless of its color? She has worn the dress for the last three grandchildren weddings because those brides wore white, and the MOG insists GMOG not buy a new one. I was even insulted about the color of my gown when I told them of the color choices already taken by me, MOB, and BMs!

Also, how do I politely tell the MOG that the dresses she is looking at are inappropriate for the wedding? She is choosing dresses that are in the “ball gown” category or look like she’s ready for a “night on the town.”

Help! [unsure]

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Dear Bride,

As long as the grandmother’s dress doesn’t look like a wedding or bridesmaids’ gown, it is perfectly fine for her to wear it. It would be best if she didn’t match the bridesmaids’ colors, but even then it is not a big deal. Not many eyes will be on the grandmothers.

But, eyes will be on the MOG. This is a problem. I suppose the best thing to do is to remind her that as MOG she is to coordinate with your mother on her dress. Hers is to compliment in color, style, and length, while not being more formal than your mother’s dress. Perhaps your mother could take her out shopping if they live close to each other. Or, your fiance could do this since it is his mother.

The old rule about others not wearing the bride’s colors is out. It is more about not out-shining the bride. This is why red is an absolute no-no.

Best wishes,