My son is getting married this weekend, an ‘adults only’ reception follows the ceremony. My niece, who has an infant not yet 2 months old, is flying in from 2000 miles away the day before the wedding. Her husband is not coming at all but is staying home with their toddlers. I, as well as my niece and her mother, (my sister), incorrectly assumed an infant so young would be exempt from the ‘adult only reception’ rule. When she responded to the invitation she said only she would be attending but wrote in “and infant son, but he won’t be eating 🙂 ” I am regularly in touch with my sister and told her that I was wrong in my assumption about the exemption for infants. I have offered to hire a sitter to stay close by to accommodate breastfeeding. I spoke to my sister again tonight and asked if she has spoken with her daughter about my offer and she told me the bride “will never even know he’s there because my niece “wears him” on her chest in a soft, over the shoulder carrier. She said she hasn’t mentioned it to her daughter and thinks the bride is being unreasonable. She told me I could bring a sitter if I want but she doubts the daughter will avail herself of the sitter’s services. At this point what is MY responsibility? Should my son or the bride have addressed it as soon as they received the mom’s response? I just feel I’ve said all I can yet I don’t want a scene or for the bride and her family to feel like I have disrespected their wishes. HELP!

Nancy Tucker

Actually whoever accepted the rsvp should have immediately addressed this issue. The neice should be communicated with by the bride or the groom and then she can make her decision to go or not. If she will not accept any possible alternatives to accomodate the baby, she may have to miss the wedding.

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc

I agree with Nancy. I understand a mother not being able to be separated from her infant, but when faced with this sort of invitation she should have declined. An adults only wedding means no children of any age, even if the mother thinks the child will not be a problem. (Does she think her baby will never cry?) :unsure: For whatever reason this couple chose to exclude kids. It’s their prerogative. Besides, how will other parents feel when they see their child has not been allowed but another child has been. Perhaps the couple can use that as their “excuse” to this mother. I hope they can present their case without argument. I’d encourage them to call and make a statement such as, I’m sorry there was a misunderstanding but, although we love babies, we are having an adults only reception and we cannot accommodate you with the baby. I’m not sure if there is any way you can explain to this mom without hurt feelings. It’s a shame because she inserted herself into the situation. But, as Nancy said, the couple should have addressed the issue immediately. I hope they can do some decent damage control and everyone goes on to have a good relationship. :wub:

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

I’m sorry I didn’t see this sooner–busy. But, it was not polite to assume that she (the mother of the infant)could bring her child. The child wasn’t invited. Writing in our own guests on a RSVP response card is presumptuous and impolite.

The couple has every right to invite whomever they wish. But, if children were invited to the wedding, they should also have been invited to the reception.