I know you’ve said that it can’t be an adults only wedding if any kids are invited but i’d like to think that my situation is unique. My fiance and I can’t possibly afford to let all our cousins, close friends, etc.. bring their children or teenagers to the wedding BUT I have one niece and nephew (my fiance has none) that we’re both crazy in love with. I love my nephew as if he were my very own child. We’ve decided to make an exception and allow them to be the only children who attend the wedding. Is that so wrong? Help!
Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc
Everyone thinks their situation is unique but, in fact, many people have children who are their favorites. That’s the issue. You never want to select some guests over others, which is really what you’d be doing here. You’d especially be choosing from within your family’s children. When your guests see that some children were invited, and theirs have not been, it could cause hurt feelings. They could feel that possibly their children aren’t well behaved enough or liked as much. Sometimes couples invite just the children from the family, and many guests will understand that, but some won’t. That is the chance you take when inviting some children and not others.
Shockedbride
Even if these are my only brother’s children? These are the only children within the immediate family of the bride and groom. Still not an exception?
Shockedbride
I just want to add that I barely know any any other children of relatives. I don’t feel that I’m “picking a favorite”, they just happen to be part of my immediate family and I’ve seen them growing up, spent lots of time with them, etc..
Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc
To be 100% correct, all children should be invited. But, then if you applied that “rule” to the entire guest list than all family members must be invited. That doesn’t always happen and we usually have a budget and a guest list to stick to.
That’s where I see a gray area, but your guests may not. Personally, I’d have no problem just inviting family kids because my family is super small. Others have huge families. Where do you draw the line? That’s where (IMO) discretion comes in. You have to try to decide if you think your guests will feel slighted. You may not be able to do that. Only you can decide REALLY.
Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca
Great advice! And, you could consider not inviting your cousins. You could allow the word to be spread that you are under space and cash constraints and have to limit the size of your wedding.