My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years (longer than his daughter and her groom have been together). We are not married and live in separate households, but he wants me to be at his side and considered his ‘partner’ not just ‘a girlfriend’ at his daughters wedding. It is an afternoon, spring wedding at a local historical Inn, the invitations sent were very informal however the groom and male wedding party participants will be wearing black tuxedos w/ green (and Vans tennis shoes) My boyfriend agreed to wear a black tux as well. Relationships between the brides mother & her fiancee, and my boyfriend & myself are socially friendly but we are not close and communication is minimal. I do not know what she is planning on wearing and the bride has not communicated any of her own wishes or concerns pertaining to my role or what I should wear. My feeling is that I should wear appropriate attire as if I wee a guest, but am concerned if this is appropriate if I am being introduced with the Father of bride and sitting with him etc., and he is in a formal tux. Suggestions (and any warnings of what-not-to-do!)would be greatly appreciated!

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Dear Trish,

It might be best if your boyfriend asks his daughter if you are being treated as a mother, which means you would dress as one. If so, you would coordinate with the mother of the bride. If not, then dress as one of the guests. Either way, wear conservative attire.

Best wishes,

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites,

Agreed. No skimpy dresses or low cut tops for mothers. it’s the bride’s day so let’s try not to steal the attention away from her and her. Plus, when it comes to step family, it’s always better to blend in that be noticed and talked about. I’m not saying you can’t look your best, but look gorgeous in a conservative, flattering way, not one that will be discussed but the ex’s.