Hi…..
I am having a hard time trying to figure this one out. My fiancee and I are getting married in 4 months. we have been living together for quite a while now which means we really do not need anything for our home. The wedding is quite expensive and so is our honeymoon so we were wonder this. Would it be terribly trashy to ask guests if they want to give us a gift they could donate to our honeymoon fund. We are trying not to take out any loans for anything and doing a great job of not having to so far. We just don’t want to end up with a whole bunch of stuff we already have or would never use. I also do not want to seem like we are just trying to get money either. Please help!
Jodi R R Smith, The Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting
Author,
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! While it would be quite tacky to outright ask for money, there is a gracious way to indicate to your guests that a monetary gift is your preference. First, invitations are not invoices and guests are not obligated to give any gifts. Instead, they are so honored to be included in your happy occasion that they want to bestow upon you a token of their well wishes in the form of a gift.
As the honorees, you are NEVER to begin a conversation about gifts. However, should a guest inquire as to your present preference, you then may indicate you have already established a household. Savvy guests will know this means you prefer a check. You may also register with one of the companies designed for monetary gifts. Then, when guests inquire, you simply mention the name of the registry company and mention how excited you are to embark on your honeymoon.
Do be aware that no matter how many uber tactful hints, there will always be guests who decide to give you a toaster. Keep your fingers crossed that they happen to include the gift receipt!
I hope this helps ~ Warmly, Jodi
Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites
Wonderful advice, and even more wonderful that you have everything you need for married life! Good for you. Also – kudos for not getting into debt for a wedding!
If you DO end up with a toaster, or any gift you can’t use, consider giving to charity so others who aren’t as fortunate as you can be blessed too. Giving feels really good, and the giver doesn’t have to know anything about it. Just don’t give away anything unusual that Great Aunt Jenny might give and expect to see displayed when she visits!
Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites
If you have a wedding website you can list this on you registry page, but make sure that page isn’t the first thing a visitor notices when they arrive on the home page.