I have been invited to my boyfriend’s sister’s bridal shower and I have absolutely no desire to go. I have been dating my boyfriend for about 8 months, it’s not a Jack and Jill shower so I will be there without him, I don’t know his sister very well (she lives out of state) and have no desire to use my precious weekend time sitting in a room with a bunch of strangers watching an adult open presents.

I thought that showers are suppose to be given by friends and family of the bride to wish her well and help stock her new home. Is it inappropriate to ask me to spend my time and money on someone I don’t know?

If I had had a chance to get to know her and befriend her, I may have felt differently but I really don’t feel that this is a good use of my time and find it rude to expect me to participate. What do you think? What are the “rules”? How do I decline?

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Dear Guest,

This may have been what the host felt was a way to include you. Some really believe that guests feel honored to be invited. So this could be the case here.

Do not feel pressured to participate, but do know that this invitation could have been issued with good intentions.

Yes, typically only those close to the bride and the mothers are invited. However, sometimes the host may invite family she wishes to introduce to the bride as well.

You do not need to send a gift if you don’t attend.

Best wishes,

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites

Exactly. Maybe the family likes you and wants to get to know you better. Maybe they are seretly hoping you’ll be a member of the family one day. [;)][;)]

Who knows but think good thoughts and follow Rebecca’s (as always) wonderful advice.