I have been married twice. both times i got married at the justice of the peace. both times there were no pics, flowers, family/friends, etc. both times i got married in november. neither marriage worked. i have been single since 1988 and have now met a wonderful man I am going to marry in July.

Is it appropriate to have a bridal shower for me. My daughter tells me this is my 3rd marriage and I am 53 years old and doesn’t know how appropriate it would be for me to have one.

I want everything to be different this time around. I never had a bridal shower, i never had a church wedding with pics, flowers, family and friends, etc. I am wanting to have what i am calling a ‘real’ wedding this time. Maybe since this is my 3rd marriage, this isn’t appropriate either.

Please let me know what the expert thinks or what the proper etiquette is concerning these things.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Dear Third,

The sky is almost the limit these days concerning encore weddings. Yes, you may have a shower if someone other than family offers to host one for you. This is not something that you can plan or nudge someone into hosting.

The great thing about encore brides is that the showers don’t usually focus on the mundane home supplies. These showers can be very inventive and focus on life style gifts.

You can have the friends, flowers, bridesmaids, and pictures. Have the wedding that you want. The few customs you will probably want to skip is the father walking you down the aisle, the bouquet and the garter toss, and the reception line will be different.

Hopefully I haven’t left anything out. If so, ask again.

Congratulations!

Someone else could walk with you, such as your daughter. The tossing is just a bit odd with us older encore brides, but is optional. You can do this if you want to. And, you and your groom will head the reception line instead of your parents.

I read the reply that you gave to this already but I’m still confused. My mother is getting married for the third time and has given me the honor of being her maid of honor. I’m lost as to what I should parties I should be throwing for her in regards to a bridal shower or a bachelorette party. She’s 46 and was the maid of honor at my first wedding 2 years ago. I’m just not sure how different a third wedding is supposed to be compared to what she did for my wedding! She’s having something informal and different – but it fits her and her fiance. They are having a family only “jeans and t-shirt” ceremony in the morning and a large reception later in the evening. Any help would be great! Thanks!

Donna, Wedding Queen, President; Top Wedding Sites, Inc

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