Mother of Groom: What to Wear

This is my first formal wedding ever, and as it is the first of my beloved stepsons getting married, I wish to contribute to the perfection of their day.

We are travelling from far away for this wedding. My husband is all set having ordered his tux with all the accoutrements specified by the bride and groom. I ,on the other hand, am getting a little frantic as we only had a month’s warning about the wedding and I have gotten sketchy information, partially because I didn’t know what questions to ask. Your site has helped with that, but getting answers from my stepson and his fiancee is difficult because they are so busy and work different schedules from us.

The bride is wearing a long white gown, the bridesmaids are wearing light blue (I am still trying to find out the length), the MOB is wearing some shade of purple (I am still trying to find out the shade and length), and I have no idea yet what the MOG is wearing.

From perusing the questions on your site, I have learned I must not overshadow the bride, the MOB, or, I assume, the MOG.

The first info I got from my stepson, is light blue would be ok for me, but at the time I had not started searching for wedding etiquette. Who knew there was so much?

Anyway, my color can’t match the bridesmaids or the MOB or outdress them, right? What about the MOG, assuming I can find out what she is wearing?

I am looking at a sky blue long dress or a navy blue long dress with sequins on the jackets, but now I am not sure at all. Do I get matching shoes? I am so out of my depth here and I want to do the right thing.

The wedding is at 8 p.m. at a classy location in a metropolitan city, with the reception right after.

I know I need more info, but any advice you can give me would be appreciated. Also, do I need to do something formal with my hair?

Thanks.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette By Rebecca

Dear Step Mom,

Typically the step mother would dress as one of the guests, not as one of the mothers. She is typically in the background so as not to take anything away from the biological mothers. However, if you are being seated as one of the mothers and treated as one of the mothers, it is fine to dress as one.

It would be very improper to outdress the MOB and MOG. So, it is important to find out what the MOG is wearing.

No, you shouldn’t wear light blue if the bridesmaids are. The jacket is fine as long as you are not dressed more formally than the other mothers. The length is fine as well if the other mothers are wearing long dresses, as this is considered more formal.

Please find out how you will be observed during the wedding before choosing a dress. Then even black would work.

The shoes should compliment, but don’t have to match.

Best wishes,