When you mention the words “wedding speeches,” most people probably cringe. And perhaps because most of us are terrified of speaking on a public stage. The thought of standing in front of a group of people giving a speech and getting tongue-tied or completely screwing up is real. But when you’ve been asked to present a speech at your best friend, son, or daughter’s wedding, you just have to suck it up and get to it, regardless of that knot that is quickly forming in the pit of your stomach.
Luckily, we’re here to help. By explaining the 10 common wedding speech gaffes and how to avoid them, we can help you present one rockstar wedding speech.
If you’re expected to give a speech at a wedding, preparation is necessary. Winging it could be disastrous. From the Father of the Bride to the Maid of Honor, it’s important that you sit down and put some real thought into what you want to say, what route you want to take (funny, sentimental, inspirational), and have an outline written to keep you on track – this is essential.
Practice is also necessary because no one wants to be remembered as the one who totally flubbed. There are some precautions to take and some common mistakes to keep in mind when writing your speech. And that’s what we’re here for!
We’re going to help you steer clear of the common gaffes and on the right track to wedding toast success!
What is a “gaffe” exactly?
A gaffe is basically a mistake. It’s unintentional, of course, and you may not even notice it’s happened until after the toast is complete.
Luckily, wedding speech gaffes can be avoided, and so can the embarrassment that follows the blunder. From social quirks to planning faux pas, there are many “uh-ohs” that can take place when it comes to wedding toasts. So, let’s get to it! Here are the 10 most common wedding speech mistakes. Knowing these mistakes upfront will hopefully keep you from making them.
Photo Credit: Shutterstock10 Common Wedding Speech Gaffes
1. Name Mispronunciation
Please, for the love of the Wedding Gods, please, make sure that you’re able to pronounce all-important names correctly. From the bride and groom to the families or the help – whomever you may be pointing out to thank or speak a little about – their names must be said right.
If there are some tricky names, practice. Nerves can get the best of you, and we don’t want to see you create your very own “John Travolta at the Oscars” moment on such an important day in your loved ones’ lives.
2. Ex Talk
This should be obvious to all, but, unfortunately, it happens far too frequently. Stay away from bringing up the exes – no matter how entertaining it could be. Ex-girlfriends, ex-husbands, ALL exes are off-limits from the conversation, ridicule, jokes, anecdotes, and everything else you may be able to stuff into your speech. No one wants to listen to past loves or have them brought up! Especially on their wedding day!
3. Private Stories
Some stories are private – and kept secret – for a reason. Keep those memories under lock and key. No significant revelations need to be shared about what happened on New Year’s Eve ten years ago. If it’s been sworn to secrecy, keep it a secret. You want to enhance the night with your speech, not tarnish it.
4. Over 5 Minutes
Keeping the speech brief is always better than going overboard. Even the most entertaining speeches need a limit. Guests, children, and the like will get bored and distracted, and you’re probably not the only one that is presenting a speech. Make sure you have an outline of all the major points for your speech and stick to it!
5. Too Many Drinks
Don’t go for that second or third glass of wine or shots until your speech is over. No one wants a sloppy toast-giver, so downing too many cocktails beforehand is a definite no-no. Some sips of champagne will do, but don’t go overboard before you toast the bride and groom.
6. Ego Boosting
This toast isn’t about you, so don’t use it to talk only about yourself. You may be the one who helped plan the wedding or introduced the newlyweds, but this moment still isn’t about you. And you certainly don’t need to spend the majority of the speech talking about those facts either.
Keep the focus on the happy couple, share stories and nice words, and encourage future thoughts. And leave the ego-boosting at the door. TIP: After you write your speech, go back and count how many times the word “I” appears.
7. No 4-Letter Words
Keep the speech clean too. An accidental “f” bomb may be funny in theory, but it can easily come off tasteless. Leave the four-letter words for home and come to the table with a toast that can be remembered fondly.
8. Inappropriate/Embarrassing Jokes
It’s always fun to jab or poke a finger or two at the groom, but be sure not to go too far and outright embarrass him – or the bride, for that matter. Jokes are needed. A giggle for the guests can help get the party started. But when the jokes are humiliating, it can leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth, and that’s no fun for anyone.
9. Reading Lines
We are big advocates for preparation. And we’re big advocates for writing speeches down, practicing, and holding onto that outline in case a hefty dose of nerves strikes and you go blank once that mic is handed to you. But try your hardest to look up from the paper, don’t just read lines from your cocktail napkin. That may sound monotone and boring.
10. Uh, Um, So
Practicing your speech will help out here as well. Too many added uh’s, um’s, or so’s can hurt the success of your speech or toast. People will get distracted by all of the extra “noise” throughout your sentiment. And, to be frank, it just doesn’t sound good!
Quick Tips On How To Avoid Embarrassment
Photo Credit: Unsplash / Kats Weil1. Stay Away From The Bar…Until Your Time Is Over
As we said previously, staying away from the bar and keeping a sober head will help you steer clear from accidental blunders. A few tastes of wine may relax you, but a few bottles of beer might destroy your speech. Stay away from the bar until your speech is over.
2. Stay PG
Don’t go into your speech thinking that you’ll win everyone over and loosen things up with a PG-13 or R-rated version of a classic wedding toast. It’s tacky, and no one will appreciate the excess tactlessness. Instead, keep your stories and jokes PG so everyone can enjoy them.
3. Stay Brief
And finally, stay brief. The less time you’re up with the mic, the less opportunity you have to mess up and cause a scene, per se. Short and sweet is much better than long and boring, remember that, and you’ll do great!