For the lucky few of you, being given the role of best man will be an honour, a joy and an event to look forward to, an opportunity to put your organisational skills and confidence to good use. For the rest of you, it can be one of the most daunting roles you’ll ever have been given and you’ll dread it until it’s over!
Whatever position you take, ultimately the role is a symbol of appreciation for your friendship and everything you mean to the groom. With this in mind, keep the thought in the forefront that they’ve chosen you because they trust you can do a brilliant job of it – and you will!
If it’s your first time as best man though, where do you start? With this simple step-by-step guide from Redseven you’ll be winning from the offset.
Pre Planning
From suit hire to transport arrangements, the preparation stages before the wedding are crucial to the big day running smoothly;
- One of the most important duties as best man is looking after the rings. Keep them somewhere safe at all times; without these then there will be no wedding!
- Organise suit fittings for ushers and groomsmen
- Pick up the grooms suit in time for the big day
- Organise travel arrangements for the ushers and groomsmen to the church or registry, as well as the reception afterwards
- Make sure the groom has all the tickets and travel arrangements in order for the honeymoon
- Write the best man speech
- Probably the most enjoyable responsibility is organising the stag party. Communicate with the groom and find out exactly what he wants, whether it’s a stag weekend in Prague or something a bit closer to home
The Big Day
On the wedding day, you’ll have to put your nerves about the speech aside, as before then the most important event is taking place – the marriage!
Pre-wedding
- Help the groom get ready (calm his nerves!)
- Check that you have the rings, even if you’ve checked a few times already!
- Make sure you have the order of service sheets and that the ushers are organised
- Make sure the groom gets to the church on time
At the Wedding
- Check the ushers know what they are doing
- Stand to the right of the groom
- Sign the marriage certificate as a witness if it’s required
- Escort the chief bridesmaid out of the church or registry
Post-wedding / Reception
- Make sure all fees are paid to the church or registry office
- Help the photographer organise everyone for the photographs
- Make sure the reception is ready to receive the guests
- Stand in the receiving line for the guests arriving
The Speech
The best man speech will inevitably be the most difficult part of the best man duties so this deserves extra attention. Whatever type of character you are, you’ll need to transform yourself into an articulate, confident and witty person. Further, you’ll need to find the right balance between humour and sentiment without being offensive or too cheesy – not too difficult a task then! There’s no shame in getting advice from friends and family, as they will be able to contribute with their own memories and perspectives which will give you inspiration and a varied angle.
Ultimately, bear in mind that your audience is ideal; by the time you come to make the best man speech they will have had a few drinks so they’re likely to laugh at your jokes however funny they are! Secondly, the fact that it’s a wedding will means they’ll straight away be in a good mood and therefore encouraging and supportive. Also, many of the men in your audience will have been in your quivering shoes before so they’ll be on your side!
Some of the main points to include are;
- How the bride and groom got together
- As best man you will know the groom well so it’s likely you can naturally tell a few stories from your friendship so far
- Funny stories from the stag do; there’s likely to be at least a couple!
- A story from the grooms past, when he was younger, something funny or embarrassing that happened
Useful Tips – Have the speech written down on paper and to hand so you can refer to it easily. Unless you’re an experienced public speaker, there’s no point adding to your nerves trying to memorise it all! Further, practice it; it will make you feel even more confident if you have read it through a few times before.
Post – Wedding
- Make sure the bride and groom have their bags ready for the honeymoon
- Check the groom has all the tickets and travel arrangements in order for the honeymoon
- Ensure the bride and groom have time to get changed and announce to the guests they are leaving
- Return the ushers and groomsmen suits if they’ve been hired
- Relax, it’s all over!